They twist and they shout for the boys in the band

I feel funny writing this entry. I'm afraid it's going ot make me look like a wannabe groupie. And I'm not. It's not snobbery, either. But I'm not a groupie. I don't want to sleep with band members. Don't want to have their babies. Don't even want to be best friends with them. Hell, I would have to talk to them for any of that to happen. I don't. I go to enough gigs that if I did, I'd actually probably be guest-listed at this point. Only rarely when I have something specific to say do I attempt it. And even then, I wind up walking away feeling like a moron. And slightly dirty.

But there is something I've been wondering about band/'fan' interaction.

See, I like the wrong kind of music for living in New York City. Or the right kind, depending on how you look at it. If I want to hear British indie bands on the radio, I'm out of luck. But if I want to go to a gig and see a band that's big or exploding over in the UK in a small venue, I've hit the jackpot. There are a few times when I go to gigs and there are a bunch of people there. Sometimes the room is full. Sometimes there are even actually other people there who know the band. Often, even when it's full, the hipsters hold to the code of cooler-than-thou and would rather be caught dead than look like they're enjoying themselves. And so, more often than not, it's my friends and I, along with a handful of other people, who are dancing, jumping, singing. In cornier words, supporting the band.

And then there are other instances. Take for example a recent gig I went to for a band I like a lot. It was at a tiny venue in the Lower East Side. The band is so unknown here that they were hanging out at the bar during the first two sets without anyone ever realizing that they would soon be on stage. My friend actually wound up chatting with the drummer, and he even said that no one knew who they were. When they took the stage, the room was not nearly full. Far from it. And my friend and I were standing in the center, well enough back so that we didn't have to stand right in front of the stage, but no one was in front of us, and no one was in back of us. And we proceeded to rock out along with the band. In clear view of them. And we were the only ones.

Now, what I'm wondering is, in either situation, where you are visibe to the band, you clearly are familiar with their music, and are, supposedly, letting them know that at least someone in the audience is enjoying their set...and then they see you after... Ok, what I'm saying is, I would want to talk to those people. As my friend said, at least to find out how they found out about the band. In the case of the unknown band, they were hanging out at the bar afterwards again. A table separated me from the lead singer, who, minutes before I had been singing along to. But nothing. As MD said, "Is it uncool to be excited or into something? Uncool to show appreciation of it? What gives?"

I know that it's not fair to expect something like that, and it's not expectation. Not at all. It's more bewilderment. Some people are just shy or reticent. But is it something that's just not done in the rock star handbook? Do you only speak to people if they speak to you first? Is it the fish out of water thing, where being in a different country, you just feel so out of your element that you don't approach anyone? Or maybe it's true, that, even in venues where there aren't spotlights blinding the bandmembers, that they don't really see the first few rows of people. So even if you're standing right in front of them, even if you've made eye contact or sung along together, they really don't see you. It's something I don't think I'll ever understand. Even if just being in the best interests of the band to cultivate that support base in a hostile country? It's one of those showbiz mysteries, I guess.

Though obviously it's not the point of any of it.